GRIEF
Below I have described some symptoms of grief I see in my practice. The symptoms are organized by the impact evident in a person’s behavior, thinking, emotions, and body experiences. You may experience symptoms in each category. Some people present to therapy with only one of these categories as their predominant manifestation, but it continues to negatively impact their life. For example, clients have had medical practitioners rule out any physical diagnoses but they continue to experience exhaustion, sluggishness, difficulty concentrating, and difficulty sleeping. These clients often find therapy targeting grief reduction greatly improves their physical symptoms. If you read these descriptions and are still uncertain about your own experience, feel free to contact me for a consultation.
MIND
During grief people often report preoccupation with memories of the person that they have lost. Conversations you had, places you went, times you spent together. In particular people often think about their last moments with the deceased. You may become caught up in thinking about how you could have done or said something different. The mind can drift toward morbid or anxious thoughts that are difficult or painful to consider. Some people find their thoughts seem, “out of control” and it is difficult to gain focus or concentrate. You may have trouble making decisions. It can feel as if you are frozen, still processing your loss while the rest of the world, “moves on”. Sometimes people report the sense that they also died—or a part of them died— with the person who passed away.
BODY
Our bodies respond to our emotions. During grief we may notice heaviness or tightness in our chests or throat. We may feel nausea, upset stomach, or gastrointestinal difficulties. Grief can create anxiety, which has a clear impact on the body. People experience migraines, dizziness, numbness, fatigue, and exhaustion. Sometimes people experience tightening of the muscles or muscle weakness, body soreness, difficulty falling or staying asleep. Sometimes people notice the opposite—that they sleep hours longer than usual and their body feels somewhat numb. The impact of grief on the body varies from person to person.
BEHAVIOR
Grief can be intensely painful. Many people experience distress or difficulty performing daily activities at home, work, or other important areas. You may notice you fall out of your regular daily schedule or habits. For example, you may change what, when, and how much you eat. Many people begin to avoid going to places that trigger memories or thoughts about the deceased. People notice they stop socializing with others, or perhaps don’t have the emotional energy to respond to people. You may notice you use your phone as a distraction and tool to avoid interacting. You may notice you no longer engage in activities that used to interest you. Some people report they stop planning for the future as they struggle to reintegrate into life.
EMOTION
The death of someone you love can bring sharp emotional pain. During grief people often report emotional lability: that their emotions can shift rapidly and dramatically. They might be laughing and their laughter shifts into sobbing. You may notice feelings of emptiness, apathy, anger, humor, guilt and loneliness. You may notice times that the sadness takes over, making it difficult to feel joy or pleasure. People sometimes experience worry, anxiety, and panic. Waves of emotion can wash over you, overwhelming you. It can be burdensome or embarrassing to respond to the heave of emotions, making it difficult to function in your usual daily roles.